its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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