Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
