She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
