No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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