bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
