Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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