here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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