lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We left an ass print on the piano.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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