they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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