32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
