Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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