But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
