is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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