Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
