You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
