Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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