I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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