I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
