Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
