How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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