I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
