never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
