walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
