I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
