she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
