I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
