You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
