Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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