Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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