Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
