My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
