This is not my ceiling
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
