ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
