My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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