it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
