I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
