I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
