Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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