I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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