problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
