he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No stitches, just platelets and will power
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
