that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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