she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
