Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
