I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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