Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
