I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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