Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
