your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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