I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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