hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
