If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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