I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
