But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
