I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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