Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
