Don't you send me to vm
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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